annoying things your relatives probably say at family gatherings

Coffee being poured into a mug that says 'ugh'

As you may or may not be able to guess from the title of this post, I recently spent time at a family reunion – an Easter family reunion to be exact. Now I’m not going to lie, for the most part I enjoy my family, we all get along fairly well, I even used to look forward to all of our family gatherings growing up. That is, when I was a kid. You know, when all that was expected of me was to be in school, get decent grades, maybe play a sport or instrument or two.

Back when parents, again for the most part, just kind of put their kids on those sports teams or in music classes and told them when to get up to catch the morning bus for school each day. Kids are just told to go to school, the parents pay for the sports season, the parents encourage the extracurriculars, until you’re a little bit older and have a better idea of what you want to do.

Now my whole point in saying this is that kids just kind of do what they’re told and society looks at them like a success. Then, once you get a little older, all of the sudden you have to make your own path and forge a life out of an empty future and all of your relatives start to judge you on what you create. And it’s crap, okay. It’s crap.

Because they’re not judging you on whether or not you’re doing what’s right for yourself based on your own interests, morals, and happiness. They’re judging you based on their own interests, morals, and standard for happiness.

If they were married before 25 then either you need to be married before 25 or you’re shit out of luck. (And not to be petty or anything but I have a couple of family members who feel that way who aren’t exactly *ahem* on their first marriage or anything.)

But anyway.

coffee mugs, sunglasses, and a picture that says 'inhale the future, exhale the past'
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Annoying things your relatives have probably said at family gatherings:

  1. So what have you been doing for work? Oh… still *insert job they’re judging here* ? Well you’re young you still have time to find something else.

    How about you just tell me you think I’m a failure and move on, thanks.
  2. When are you going to get a real job? 

    I mean, I don’t know, I make real money with my job soooo…. In fact I make more “real” money than so-and-so makes with their “real” 9-5 office job soOoOoO
  3. Are you seeing anyone? No? Why not?

    Gee, I don’t know, let me break down all of my flaws for you.
  4. Still no boyfriend, huh? That’s okay. You’ll find someone some day.

    Oh wow, thank you for keeping my hopes alive that I might be able to achieve that ultimate number one goal in life of finding a man.
  5. You know your cousin who happens to be the same age as you just bought a house – are you thinking of home buying anytime soon?

    Well it might help that she’s managed to combine her finances with her fiancé but hey what do I know.
  6. Oh, well why haven’t you looked into buying a house yet?

    Because my bank account keeps telling me to fuck off, okay.
  7. Well at this rate you might not end up married until you’re 40. ( ha h a h    a)

    I mean this one was just rude.
  8. I thought you were going to try to work *insert place you had high hopes for here*? That didn’t work out? Aww, bummer.

    I mean yeah that would have been nice, still crying about it a little, thanks for bringing it back up.
  9. Maybe you should try going back to school.

    Should we consult my bank account again?
  10. Well what job do you want to do? 

    I’ll let you know when I stop having a crisis over trying to figure it out, thanks.
  11. What have you been doing to stay active? Do you belong to a gym? 

    Okay, now listen.



Let me know in the comments if you’ve ever been personally victimized by a well-meaning snub from an Aunt. 

pinterst graphic


— a twenty something

6 thoughts on “annoying things your relatives probably say at family gatherings

  1. I’ve experienced all of these. My new personal favorite comes from my mother: “When are you going to give me a granddaughter?” I have two sons, am working a full-time job while being enrolled in graduate school full time and she wants another granchild. My response is always the same: “You have two other children who are able to have children — ask one of them!” haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahh yes. the grandchildren / babies questions are a special kind of cruel. You sound like you’re crushing it though! – as a parent, a grad student and a full-time employee – seriously impressive!


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